


I Want You Instead (Tonight You're Mine)

by IWhiteCrossI



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, I guess that's all: do I know how to tag? Lol nope, One Shot, Romance, music festival AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 07:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11550051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWhiteCrossI/pseuds/IWhiteCrossI
Summary: This is a Scottish music festival AU about Chris and Eva loosely based on the movie You Instead (Tonight You're Mine). After the events of the Eid Mubarak party, Chris and Eva have decided to continue being friends but fall out of touch with each other pretty quickly nonetheless. When they meet again at a Scottish music festival in Kinross-shire, they haven’t seen each other for five years but they both still have some explaining to do.





	I Want You Instead (Tonight You're Mine)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I finally did it! I've been writing this for almost a month, ever since SKAM ended because I couldn't just leave those two without a fix-it fic.  
> Anyway, I hope you like this mess of an AU, (there are some lyrics scattered through the whole thing, don't be bothered by that) and please kudos and comment! 
> 
> PS: Reviews warm my stone cold heart :)

When Eva sees Chris kissing Emma at Sana’s Eid party, it isn’t a surprise altogether. It’s more like the girl always had a small inkling that this might happen, that Chris would one day revert back to the boy Eva always thought he was and leave, _no_ , exchange her for somebody else. Because Chris isn’t leaving Eva, not really. Not when they were never together in the first place. 

And then there’s Jonas, smiling at her, raising his hand and wiping tomato sauce off her cheek, and for a fleeting moment, it’s enough for Eva. So she puts the Penetrator boy out of her mind, into a box she vows never ever to touch again, and when Jonas leans closer, she kisses him. 

 

 

***

 

 

Eva is getting breakfast at Noora’s two days after the party when she hears Noora and her boyfriend discussing Emma and Jonas in the other room. 

“Chris told me that her and Jonas had been seeing each other since February,”  William tells Noora with just a hint of judgement in his voice. The redhead almost chokes on her coffee. 

“So they were serious then?” Noora enquires.William murmurs in agreement. The room falls into a lull of silence for a moment and Eva can almost see the other girl shaking her head. 

She stops listening when they change the topic and goes back to eating her omelette. But Eva also breaks up with Jonas over lunch that day. 

 

 

***

 

Chris calls her three weeks later. It is early evening and Eva is curled up in her bed, marathoning Dr. Phil, just like old times, when she hears the ring. Her hand hesitates for a moment before she eventually grabs her phone from the nightstand. 

“What do you want?” she asks and she doesn’t mean for her voice to sound so harsh and _bitter_ but it does. 

“Emma and me are over,” Chris says, matter-of-factly. 

“And…?” 

“And I was wondering if I could maybe come by your place later…to talk.” 

Eva snorts before she has time to stop herself. 

“So, let me get this straight. Emma just broke up with you and now you want to come over to my place and… _talk_?” She pauses, letting the mockery of her words sink in.  “Yeah…not going to happen.” 

Eva hears an exhausted huff on the other side of the line before Chris eventually replies: 

“Look, I just meant talking. I understand if you don’t want to hook up anymore but fuuck, can’t we still be friends, at least?” 

“We are never going to hook up again,” Eva emphasises, her expression softening a bit. 

“You’re right,” Chris says and Eva’s never heard him sound like this, so soft and vulnerable and open. “We shouldn’t.” 

“No.” 

They’re both quiet for a while before Chris mutters: 

“Friends then?” 

Eva hesitates for a moment.She thinks of all the stupid shit Chris has ever done: like organising that stupid fight with the Yakuza guys in the third year or, not so long ago, spending all his free time hooking up with every other girl at Nissen. She thinks of his stupid corny jokes and the way his behaviour is always high-key inappropriate in almost every situation. She thinks about how stupidly he had behaved when he met her mum and almost hangs up the phone right then and there. Friends? Whatever for? 

But then she thinks of her and Chris at the Kosegruppa Christmas party, way back in December, arguing over the decorations. She thinks of their late breakfasts in the pizza place right next to her house and all the stupid parties they’d ended up at and left early in the past year. And for some reason, Eva thinks about the flowers he had brought her before Sana’s Eid party. Tiger lilies, her favourites. And all that…that wasn’t just nothing, Eva realises. 

So she whispers back, “Friends.” before hanging up the phone for real. 

 

 

***

 

 

They try to make it work, they really do. Her and Chris hang out a couple of times with William and Noora or meet up and grab a burger maybe once or twice but it is indescribably weird, being in Chris’ company. 

It’s not like they never just hung out before. It’s just that…they also definitely would’ve snuck back to Eva’s place and had sex after they’d bid their goodbyes to William and Noora. But right now…Whenever they’re about to leave a place, it’s awkward. Chris glances at her or she at him and the air crackles around them. More than once, it looks like one of them is going to say something, do something, dive head first back into the mess they created. Sometimes Eva finds herself wishing that she could just abandon her principles and invite him back to her house but she can’t and so…

In the end, the weird moments become too much for Eva. She stops calling him somewhere around August. It’s good, actually, because by the time her final year at Nissen rolls around, Eva is so busy that she thinks she probably wouldn’t have had time for him, anyway. She can’t really pretend she doesn’t ever _wander_ , though. 

 

**5 years later**

 

***

 

 

Eva arrives in Glasgow a day before the festival. The sky crumbles as she gets out of the plane with Sana and Yousef and within minutes, they’re all soaking wet. 

“Sana, help!” she yells out, wiping the rain from her face, pointing a half-accusatory finger at Yousef. “You…you…you said it was going to be sunny!” 

Eva is usually not moody but then again, she really hadn’t wanted to go to Scotland. 

Sana scoffs next to her husband. 

“Listen…if you’re going to trust this human catastrophe with anything, you’ve only got yourself to blame.” 

“Aww, thanks, babe,” Yousef mutters and Sana smiles at him, dimples showing. 

The ride to Kinross-shire is a nightmare. Sana and Yousef are deep in discussion, chatting about the recent conflict in Macedonia that has the entire world on its tiptoes but Eva just shuffles into her seat, barricading her face behind three pillows. God, she just wants to rest. 

Her sleep is fickle. The rain drums against the bus window and Eva jolts awake every five minutes. When the driver finally announces that they’ve reached Kinross-shire, she almost rolls off her seat. 

“Time to go, Eva,” Yousef says. They grab their baggage from the luggage rack  and manage to signal the last taxi before it speeds off. 

“See, Eva,” Sana nudges her elbow, smiling at her friend. “Our luck’s beginning to turn.” 

The redhead isn’t too sure about that but Sana and Yousef both look so ridiculously happy she can’t help but let the slight tinges of giddiness seep through her skin, too. 

Their hostel is nice enough. Eva has a single room and even if the lights are a bit flickery and the bed a little lumpy, she’s so tired she doesn’t really notice. Only when Eva stumbles into the shower, half-delirious with sleep, and it randomly switches from boiling hot to ice cold, does she bite back a screech. She gets out of the bathroom with inhumane speed, scrubs her skin dry with furious movements and thinks about how tomorrow she’ll be sleeping in a…tent. 

The thought is not a welcome one. Luckily, she doesn’t have time to ponder on it too much because when the coldness disappears from her aching bones, Eva finds herself just as tired as before. 

_I hope the mosquitoes will not eat all of my flesh,_ the girl thinks before she sinks into her pillow and her eyes droop shut. 

 

 

*** 

 

Of course, she hasn’t set an alarm for the morning. When Sana eventually barges in her room with the _manager_ of the hotel, Eva is still fast asleep with her hand draped over her pillow and her legs dangling off the mattress. 

“I tried to wake you,” Sana says, her facial expression stuck somewhere between a half-smile and a half-frown. 

“What?” Eva mumbles, opening one eye and yawning. 

“We’re leaving in 15 minutes.” 

Eva groans at that and sits up. Fucking camping and hostels and music festivals, _honestly._  

She doesn’t have time for breakfast before they get on yet _another_ bus but when she sees that Sana has brought her an apple, coffee and a scone from the cafeteria, she feels a bit better. 

“I’m so excited to see the Pixies perform, like, you can’t even believe, I’ve waited years for this,” Yousef tells the girls when they get on the bus. _Whew, at least we’re talking about the music now_ , Eva thinks, munching on her apple, saying  only a few things in-between, though, because Sana and Yousef always get so carried away with conversation and besides, it’s hard to talk when your entire nervous system is noisily campaigning for more food. 

“Pixies? I want to see J.Cole live, finally!” Sana replies, eyes glittering. 

“Of course you do. You replaced your Tupac lock screen with him two months ago.” 

“Only for the festival, though! I’ll change it back.” 

“ _Sure._ ”

It goes on for minutes until…

“You’re both wrong,” Eva cuts in, finished with her food and ready to talk some sense into her two friends. “It’s all about Franz Ferdinand.” 

“How did we forget about him?” the couple exclaims at the same time. 

Eva snickers as well and soon the three of them are bickering over who has the best chances of winning the ultimate concert experience jackpot. 

“Are Chris and Mutta waiting for us in the grounds?” Eva asks when the bus comes to a halt nearby a large farm and they scamper to get their belongings. 

“Yup,” Sana says, somewhat resolutely, and Eva doesn’t miss the narrowed glance she directs at Yousef. The look doesn’t seem hostile, not exactly, but there’s something… Eva shakes her head and looks far ahead to the field. 

It’s breathtaking. The sky above them is a clear, pale blue and the crowd is already buzzing out and about; people are joking, laughing and chugging pints of beer around the vibrant clump of tents that are scattered around everywhere. A gigantic shop tent has been set up right in front of the festival gates, flowers peeking out of its every corner and surface, large signs screaming things like “Guinness 1 PINT 3.50”, “PVC raincoats available in every colour” and “Half-off Wellingtons”. 

The opening act is rehearsing on the stage and Eva grins from ear to ear as the sounds of soft punk rock reach her ears. 

“Sana! Eva! Yousef! Over here! OVER HERE!” 

No one  can be certain how exactly does Chris Berg’s excited voice reach them over all the happy chaos, but it does. 

Their eyes follow the sound and quickly find Chris, trying on a new snapback with the words KINROSS-SHIRE 2022 written on it in bold, red ink. Eva and Sana run towards her with Yousef not far behind. 

“Chris!” Eva squeals, hugging her friend tightly. “Finally! You didn’t think you could disappear to Lillehammer forever, did you?” She releases the girl for a second and beams at Chris. “Damn, you look so good!” 

Sana is next to greet her best friend, and that’s when they notice Mutta making his way out of the kiosk, a huge Pride flag tucked under his elbow. He turns around and waves at them, and it’s only then that Eva sees the boy walking behind him, sees Christoffer Schistad walking towards her as calm, cool and collected and ever, with his stupid black bomber jacket hung over his Clash T-shirt, sees him laugh and bump shoulders with Mutta when he asks Chris loudly why the hell did he choose to buy a Canadian flag. He chuckles and glances up at her, positively fucking _beaming_. 

 

 

*** 

 

 

“What the fuck is he doing here?” is the first thing that comes out of Eva’s mouth. 

They’re all standing in a circle together, her friends looking at her red, splotchy complexion with worry written all over their faces. Not Chris, though. Chris simply glares. 

“Well, hello to you, too,” he snaps but Eva doesn’t even look at him. Doesn’t even acknowledge him. She’s fucking livid. 

“ _Who_ invited him?” she demands, hands clenched into tiny fists. Mutta looks up at Yousef, eyes wide, and Sana’s narrowed her gaze again. And suddenly, it all makes sense. Of fucking course. She whirls around. 

“Yousef?!” Eva cries out.

Yousef runs a hand over his face, his eyes uncertain. 

“Look…,” he says, tone hesitant. “He’s…he’s having a hard time and…” 

There’s a beat of silence as Yousef struggles to find the right words. 

“What?” Eva snaps. 

“He is our friend, Eva, you know that,” Chris Berg steps in. “I’m sorry that Yousef didn’t tell you but…” 

“Whatever, guys,” Eva growls and turns her back to them, barely holding back the numerous other words that are threatening to bubble over her lips. “See you later.” 

Eva starts walking away from them, wiping the stray tears from her face. Chris chooses this exact moment to call after her.

“Hey, Mohn, mind telling us what the fuck you’re so pissed off about?” 

Eva turns around on her heel, eyes fuming. Chris merely raises his eyebrows at her.  _He is fucking enjoying this, isn’t he?_

“It was you who started dodging my calls, remember?” 

And that’s what does it. Eva marches right back over to him prompting her friends to assemble a messy line between the two of them whilst Chris Berg yells: 

“Oh no, Eva, please don’t hit him!” 

The last time Eva had been so furious was when she discovered Iben lurking around in the school toilet, listening to her and Ingrid’s private conversation. Well, actually, that was nothing compared to _this_. 

“You know fuck-all about why I stopped calling you! So shut the fuck up!” Eva screams and she can feel her face start to heat up again. The tears are forgotten. From the corner of her eye, Eva can see that other people are looking at her weird but she doesn’t care. All that matters is the asshole standing in front of her, glaring at her. 

“Hmm. So, you not once called me back but still wanted to be my friend? Fascinating.” 

“Well…it’s not like you showed up at my doorstep and wanted to talk after that either!” 

“Oh, was I supposed to?!” 

“No!” 

“Hey, both of you!” Sana yells and everything goes quiet in a second. “I know you’ve got unresolved issues and that life is hard but can we _please_ just enjoy this festival?… You don’t have to talk to Chris, Eva.” Sana’s lips are pressed in a tight line and her posture’s stern but her eyes…her eyes are almost pleading.

Yousef moves to stand behind her, a hand coming to rest on his wife’s shoulder. Eva suddenly feels really shit. 

“Right, sorry.” She cleans her throat and throws one last menacing glare at Schistad before looking at both of the couples. “I mean, I don’t agree with you inviting him but…you’re right, Sana. I don’t have to talk to him.” 

“I’m literally right here, Eva.” 

Eva takes a calming breath and makes it a point to ignore him, showing everyone that she meant what she just said. 

“Whew, okay,” Christina exhales, smiling brightly at both Chris and Eva for some reason. “What do you say we put away our things now and go listen to some music instead?” 

Mutta laughs, obvious relief in his voice. 

“Yeah, let’s do that.” 

 

*** 

 

 

The evening arrives and it’s still a bit tense between all of them but after Eva hears Yousef’s profuse apologies for the hundredth time and explains her own horrid behaviour many more times, the tension melts away slowly. 

The most important thing is that she manages to avoid Chris. Almost. 

They’re all in the tenting area and Sana’s ruffling through Yousef’s rucksack with a sour expression on her face, when it happens. 

“What’s wrong?” Eva asks her disconcerted friend, instinctively dreading the answer that the other girl might present. 

Sana looks at Eva, teeth digging into her cheek. Everything’s quiet for a moment until Sana squares her shoulders and utters: 

“We only have two tents with us, Eva.”

The redhead frowns in confusion. 

“One is a four-person one and the other is for two people,” Mutta adds. 

That’s when she gets it. 

“What are you saying?” she asks just in case, her voice quivering a little. 

Sana takes a deep breath. 

“I’m saying that you and Chris have to sleep in the same tent. I’m sorry.” 

“No.” 

Eva’s hands are in her hair and she’s shaking her head, almost violently. She’s not going to freak out like she did three hours prior, because it really isn’t Sana’s fault, it’s only appropriate that the two couples share the same tent but… 

Eva’s gaze meets Chris’. The boy has been quiet so far. His gaze is stony, guarded. Maybe he’s expecting another meltdown? Well, joke’s on him because she doesn’t even have the energy to get mad anymore, this is ridiculous. 

Yousef and Mutta are looking at their bro whilst Christina’s staring at Eva and then Sana’s nudging them all out of earshot, whispering: “Let’s give them a moment, shall we?” The four of them scramble out of the way. 

“I can’t sleep in the same tent with you, Chris,” Eva says when they’re gone, her voice quiet. 

He shrugs. 

“I figured.” 

“I tried to smash in your face like an hour ago.” 

“You might have had a point back there, though.” 

Eva chooses to ignore him. 

“Plus, I just…,” she sighs. “I can’t deal with you. That’s why I started ignoring your calls in the first place, for fuck’s sake.” 

Eva thinks she sees something shift in his face at that but before she can pick up on it, Chris scoffs at her.

“You’re not the only one whose glad we didn’t end up together, okay?” 

She winces. She strengthens her spine. She finds herself saying: 

“We still have to sleep in the same tent, though.” 

“Most likely,” he smiles, a small amused grin etching its way to his face. 

Eva grins, too, but it’s more of a hysterical grimace than an expression of actual joy. 

“Look,” the girl says after a beat, digging her hands in her coat pockets. “We’ll sleep in the same tent _for one night_ , no big deal, and tomorrow we’ll go to town and buy a new one and continue avoiding each other.” 

Chris shrugs again. 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“Good.” 

Eva turns to leave. 

“Wait!” he calls after her. She’s already a few paces ahead. 

“WHAT?” Eva bellows back, not bothering to turn around. 

“Make sure you keep your clothes on!” 

In hindsight, Chris can’t really blame her for the backpack that flies his way, missing his face by three inches. 

 

 

***

 

 

J. Cole starts playing at half past ten but the gang is there long before that. Soon they’re all huddled up together, Mutta and Chris waving their huge pride flag,  Chris and Yousef attempting something of a dance in the maddening crowd and Eva and Sana just swaying along to the beat. Eva almost feels fine again, as long as she doesn’t think or look at Chris, that is. Which is hard, but the music is a nice distraction. 

When J.Cole finally comes on stage, Sana howls so loudly in her ear that Eva almost goes deaf. Maybe this is payback, the girl thinks, because Lord knows, Eva has squealed and screamed and giggled at Sana too many times to count at past parties.

J. Cole proceeds to sing and Eva finds herself really vibing with the tunes, somehow. The girl feels herself slowly disappear into the music. Soon, she’s throwing her hands up in the air and screeching her lungs out as well. 

And then Eva’s eyes are fluttering open and her gaze meets Chris’. He’s staring  at her and the air between them turns magnetic, electrifying, bewitching in an instant,  it truly feels like time has frozen for a moment. Until he has the audacity to fucking grin at her, because now her heart’s stuttering and fuck, it reminds her of all the previous times they used to sneak glances at each other at parties and what that…lead to. 

Cole’s lyrics are floating to her from space and he’s singing  _No, I don’t want no bitch from reality shows, out of touch with reality hoes,_ the lyrics resonating between them  and Chris is _still_ looking at her, but differently, his eyes so fucking gentle now, and Eva’s heartbeat triples. 

This is where she is meant to avert her gaze but instead, she is taking a step closer to him before hesitating and turning around again, praying for him to back away or…

Get closer. 

And suddenly she can feel Chris ease up behind her, ( _I want real love),_ he’s in her space ( _that Jada and that Will love),_ and she’s laying her head on his shoulder, instinctively, before she even understands what she’s doing, _(that leave a toothbrush at your crib love),_ and Eva can feel his lips graze her neck, can feel him breathing in her skin, _(and you ain’t gotta wonder whether that’s your kid, love.)_

 

_Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved._  

It takes only one line of lyrics to break the spell and Eva stumbles forward, backing away from him. 

“No, no, no,” she says more for her own piece of mind than anyone else’s and she’s running, she’s elbowing her way through the crowd until she reaches their small tent, practically falling into it. 

“You,” someone shouts out behind her in a slurred Scottish accent. “Want a fag?” 

Her sober brain draws a blank, what did he just offer her, but when the stranger comes closer, Eva can see that the man’s holding a pack of Marlboro Gold. 

_Oh._

Eva’s never exactly smoked before but today has been hell and it’s not even night yet, (and shiit, is she really going to have to sleep in the same tent as Chris, because, that’s just a huge bag of no) so, she reaches out her trembling fingers and he places two cigarettes into her palm handing her his own lighter. 

“Keep it, I’ve got a spare,” the man says, when Eva shakes her head at first, before making his way back to the crowd again. 

The redhead lits her cigarette, slumps down in front of the tent, drags her dress down her knees again and inhales, looking up at the sky glittered with stars. 

 

 

 

*** 

 

Eva’s already half asleep when Chris stumbles back to her, well actually, _their_ tent. 

She immediately backs herself to the farthest corner from him but he manages to step on her ankle, anyway. 

“Ow…are you _drunk_?” she hisses. 

“No…fuck…sorry,” he mumbles, scrambling into his sleeping bag, 

“Can you not talk then, please?” 

Eva inches her pillow to the other side of the tent, as far from Chris as possible, and pointedly turns her back to him, ready to put this godawful day behind her and just sleep. 

Hearing Chris fumble with his jacket and shuffle in his bag for his sweatpants proves distracting, though. Because Eva can’t really help turning her head around just a little, eyes fixating on his bare shoulder, and how the back muscles dance under his skin, as Chris pulls a hoodie over his head. She’s almost completely rooted to the spot, transfixed, (and hating herself for even looking), when she notices a stack of names on the back of his hoodie in the shadowy light and… surely not?!

“Is that a _Penetrator hoodie_?” Eva hears herself blurt out. 

His gaze snaps to her in a flash, eyes offended and a little terrified. 

“Uhh…what…noooo, what are you on about?” 

“Oh my god, it is!” 

She’s giggling now, hands flying around, her eyes squeezed shut with laughter. 

“You’re wearing a…a Penetrator hoodie…oh, this is just the… _best_!” 

“Come on, it’s my old hoodie!” He nudges her elbow, frowning. “It’s not like I… I just sleep in it!”

Eva’s laughs continue for a long time and Chris is still a bit upset that she even brought it up, so he lays back on his pillow and remains quiet, trying to act serious, trying to fight back a smile. 

Eventually, Eva stops laughing and they fall into a strange silence. Eva feels like she has to say something now because it feels weird to leave the conversation at that. She’s scrambling her brain for something to say, her mind racing, when Chris suddenly whispers: 

“I’m sorry.” 

Eva doesn’t think she’s heard it right at first. _He’s_ sorry? But it’s there, the apology is echoing between them, and she reluctantly turns her head to look at him. And it cuts like a knife, the way Chris is looking at her right now. There is so much bitterness in his gaze that she almost doesn’t get the next words over her lips. 

“Uh…about what?” 

“What I did back there, it wasn’t right of me to ambush you,” he continues. “But mostly…” 

“No,” Eva interrupts him before Chris has a chance to continue. “Hey, it was my fault, too.” She casts her eyes downwards.  “I…got a bit carried away.” 

“Yeah?” he says and Eva can hear the frown in his voice. 

She nods. 

“Mhm.” 

A beat of silence follows. Eva turns to look at Chris again. He opens his mouth and closes it again, coughs. 

“I’m not only sorry for that, though,” he utters and his voice is so quiet, gentle, so unlike him, that Eva giggles a little. 

“Really?” 

“I fell out of  touch with William.” 

And that… that puts a stop to her merriment. Eva had always thought that Chris and William were inseparable, two boys with questionable morals, who always got each other’s back. It was almost cinematic, really, their friendship. Something of a real-life cliché. However…not as unbreakable as it had seemed, apparently. Eva doesn’t say anything in response, doesn’t really know what to say, so she just shuffles a little closer to Chris, careful not to touch him, and hopes that Chris will continue. Eventually, he does.

“It’s like…after him and Noora broke up, I just discovered that we had nothing in common anymore,” he sighs, running a hand over his face. “And I sort of blamed your best friend for that. You too…by extension. I know it’s stupid but…that’s why I was such a dickhead to you earlier today. And…I sort of associated the end of those two relationships with the end of…us.”  His last words are merely louder than a whisper. 

Eva still doesn’t say anything. Well, to be honest, she feels a lot like there is really nothing else to be said on the subject, except: 

“Shit.” 

“Yeah.”

Then something dawns on Eva. 

“So, you being mad at me…,” she questions, trying to make sense of things. “It has nothing to do with me trying to smack you senseless or ignoring you for all these years?” 

“No, I don’t blame you for any of that.”  

His reply is so quick, so adamant and at odds with everything she’s assumed during these past few years that she blurts out: 

“What?” 

She _almost_ doesn’t notice the way his hand makes its way to her hair. 

“Look, it was, _is_ , all my fault,” he says, pushing a stray curl behind her left ear. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t hooked up with Emma.” 

Eva’s quick to deny his claims, wriggling away from him. 

“Yes…but,” 

She’s struggling for words now and he reaches out his arm again but  withdraws it to his side then, clearing his throat.

“You had every right to be upset with me.” 

Eva’s muttering “no, you’re wrong”  again and she wants to let him know that it wasn’t all on him, that it was stupid of her to ever start things up with Jonas again and wait… _why_ is she even defending Chris now…

  “I was twenty years old,” she hears him saying. “I had never had to bother with anyone, ever, I didn’t know what the fuck I wanted out of life.” He chuckles. “And yet I was actively trying to persuade you to be my girlfriend.”

She snorts at that. What a wild ride they’d had, honestly.  

“I was a mess as well,” Eva adds, thinking back to that summertime so long ago. “I mean, you bought me flowers and I thought it was like the most idiotic thing ever back then.” 

“Ha!” Chris punches his hand up in victory. “I _knew_ you didn’t like them, I knew it!” 

Eva hesitates because she sees Chris’ smile, the genuine one, not the overconfident smirk he has reserved for most people, and God, she wants to fall back into all the joking and the laughter so badly but…but it’s all too familiar again and she has to… get her point across. 

“It’s good that we didn’t end up together, though,” she chuckles, waving her hand in the air, only having to force her voice a little. “Like, can you imagine all that…mess?” Eva laughs and Chris joins in. 

“Damn right!” he chuckles. 

“It would have been _horrible_!” 

Chris nudges her elbow, playful. 

“Let’s face it, Eva, you’re just too… too…” he struggles for words “Nice,” he ends lamely. Eva narrows her eyebrows and Chris looks like a deer caught in the headlights for a moment. 

He chuckles and corrects himself. 

“For me, I mean.” 

Eva sighs. 

“We just weren’t meant to be,” she says, matter-of-factly, looking him straight in the eye. 

He breathes in, pauses, his gaze lingering on her small smile. 

“I guess.” 

Suddenly Eva’s very aware of the heat radiating off his body and the close proximity between them. She takes a shaky breath and looks up at him as Chris withdraws his gaze from her lips. And the space between them becomes filled with promises of better tomorrows and hazy old times and she finds herself thinking of long-lost opportunities and the way his hand’s ghosting over her cheek but…

“Yeah…so, what have you been doing these past few years?” Eva finds herself saying, her voice fake cheerful. “I don’t even know what you ended up studying, actually.” 

“Uh…finance,” Chris replies, looking at her with confusion is his eyes. 

“Oh?”

She backs away from him a bit, praying that he doesn’t notice. But even if he notices, Chris doesn’t say anything.

Instead, they end up talking for the remainder of the night. About their respective careers, past relationships, music. They continue their conversation well into the night until Eva can feel the rays of the morning sun on her tired eyelids and Chris is so exhausted that he  manages to fall asleep mid-sentence.

 

 

*** 

 

 

Eva wakes up a few hours later, with Chris’ arms wrapped around her and his lips pressed against her neck. 

“Mmm,” she lets out an incoherent mumble and leans back against his chest. She’s beaming from ear to ear, content with staying like this forever if possible until she hears Sana’s suppressed laughter from the tent next to her. 

Eva’s eyes snap open and the events of yesterday return to her in a flash. The fight with Chris, the weird moment at the concert, the talk and…damn it, _the talk_. 

She’d told Chris that it was good they never got together. And now she is  what, lying with his arms around her in a tent three hours later? How convenient. If Chris woke up right now, what would he think? 

_He’d enjoy the fuck out of this_ , Eva’s conscience snorts. She fights back an angry groan. _Right._ Eva had momentarily forgotten who she was dealing with here. 

_Anyway_ , the girl thinks, carefully sliding out from under his arm. _Can’t risk him seeing me like this._

It takes Eva longer than usual to get ready, mostly because she is sneaking glances at Chris every five seconds or so, but eventually, she tiptoes out of their tent and waltzes right into the other Chris. 

“Hey, Eva, you’re up!” Chris greets her. “Want some breakfast?” 

“Definitely.” 

They sit down, cross-legged on the grass and Chris lays down a woollen blanket, offering the redhead a potato salad box and a Kit Kat bar. 

“Afraid that’s all we have,” she says, smiling apologetically. 

“…zzz good,” Eva mumbles, mouth full of food. All this festival stress is making her increasingly hungry. 

They sit in silence for a couple of minutes. However, when Eva tosses her plastic salad fork in the empty box, Chris starts talking again.

“I noticed something about you yesterday.” 

Eva raises her eyebrows, munching on her Kit Kat bar. 

“Really, what?” 

Chris beams at the redhead. 

“You still get so happy whenever you’re around my twin.” 

Eva’s mouth drops open.

“Wha…what…how did you…when did you…?” 

“At the concert,” Chris continues, a small blush colouring her cheeks. “Please don’t think that I was spying on you or something I just…haven’t seen you this happy in months.”

Eva shakes her head. 

“I’m sure that’s not what…” 

“Sana agrees, too,” Chris interrupts fiercely, her face getting even redder when the girl realises what she’s just said. “Sorry.” 

Eva swallows back a lump in her throat. 

“You don’t need to apologise, Chris, I’m sure you think you saw that but…”

Eva waves her hand around, attempting to look breezy, before adding:

“But you’re wrong.” 

“If you say so.” Chris replies, scrambling in her pockets for something. Eva watches her, dumb-founded. 

“Gum?” Chris offers, having found what she was looking for. Eva smiles and  accepts a piece, ignoring the nagging feeling that’s rising in the pit of her stomach for the rest of the morning. 

 

 

*** 

 

 

Eva is lucky, though. When her stupid once-upon-a-time bootycall finally saunters out of bed, he goes straight for the food, mumbling a vague good morning in her direction. She’s a bit baffled by his behaviour but decides not to think about it and be grateful instead. 

And anyway, as Yousef kindly reminds her, it’s already half past one and the Franz Ferdinand gig is about to start (which, as it turns out, only her and Yousef were interested in seeing, apparently), so the redhead runs to her tent and grabs her PVC raincoat before the two of them start making their way towards Zone 2.

And she doesn’t encounter Chris again until late in the afternoon. 

It’s only then that things get a bit… tricky. 

 

 

*** 

 

The gang’s trying to locate the little kiosk supposed to be selling the best kebabs in the area if Chris’s “I swear to God, I ate them yesterday and floated away to another dimension” is anything to go by, but somehow, instead of taking a quick turn to the right and finding it, they’re standing between the dumpsters and an ice cream van now, completely lost in the midst of hundreds of people. 

“Well, I think it must be this way,” Sana announces and the whole crew turns to left on her command. Everyone excluding Chris and Eva, that is, who are talking to each other in increasingly loud voices in the background. Or rather, yelling. 

“ _Why_ are we still here?” 

“Why shouldn’t we be?” 

“Because we were supposed to drive into town today and buy you a tent!”  

“And we will.” Chris’ expression turns murderous. “After I hunt down that goddamn kebab.” 

“Who. The. Fuck. Cares. About. The. Kebab!” 

“I care!” 

“Listen, you asshole, you’re not sleeping in the same tent as me anymore!” 

Eva’s eyes are wild and there’s something vulnerable in her viridescent stare now, something take makes Chris’s gaze become clouded with worry. Neither of them has noticed that their four friends are nowhere in sight anymore.

“Give me two more minutes and we’ll go!” Chris yells out eventually, pleading. 

“Aaargh!” is Eva’s response and her hands fly up in exasperation. “Fine!” 

That’s when the first raindrop hits Eva right on the nose.

“Hey! What was that?” 

The redhead turns her gaze upwards. Nope, the sky’s still plenty sunny. 

“Nothing, it was probably just…” Chris begins but his words are interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder. Within seconds, the breezy day with sunshine skies has been replaced with a downpour from hell. 

The rain splatters against the grass and the roofs of the kiosks. It creates pools of mud on the ground and paints everything a shade darker, dimmer grey. One after another, people attempt to escape to their tents, creating a frantic mess of people running out and about. Soon, Chris’ eyelashes start to glisten with raindrops and Eva’s woollen jumper becomes a soaking trap against her skin, so she has to pull it over her head, tossing the ruined garment into the dumpster without much thought. 

“It was probably ruined, anyway!” the girl shouts over the rain. 

“Here, take my jacket!” Chris bellows back but Eva shakes her head and running on some wild impulse, grabs his hand instead. 

“What are you…?”

But Chris has no time to stare at their intertwined hands because Eva’s pulling him forward in a rush, screaming: “Come on!” and then they’re running through the throngs of people before them, running out into the empty field. 

“Where are we going?” Chris shouts over the rain but Eva doesn’t even look at him, pummelling his body forward with surprising strength instead. 

“There it is!” the girl yells out, coming to a halt when she spots a bright yellow cab about a hundred metres from them. 

“We can still make it, come on!” Eva yells and Chris turns to look, too, intrigued to see what the redhead next to her is getting so enthusiastic about. Unfortunately, this is the precise moment Eva chooses to pick up the pace again. She yanks Chris by the arm, causing him to lose his balance. 

The boy stumbles forward and, with a frantic attempt to stop himself from landing face first into a pile of mud, grabs onto Eva’s shoulder. 

The redhead lets out a loud shriek and topples over, pulling Chris down with her. Eva vaguely notices the taxi speeding off in the distance from the corner of her eye before becoming acutely aware of the mess of limbs beneath her. 

Chris is sprawled out on the ground, pinned down by Eva’s body, one hand digging into her spine. His hair and jacket caked are with mud, his eyes a little bit out of focus, hazy. The boy looks ridiculous. Eva just stares at him for a moment before she notices that one of her hands is lying on his chest. _Hey!_

Luckily, the moment is interrupted by Chris who seems to have regained some of his senses. 

“There’s mud on your cheek,” the boy mutters, grinning now. 

“What?”

She swipes across her left cheek, trying to get the dirt off of her but Chris pushes her hand away. 

“No, it’s on the other cheek,” he says before reaching out with his other hand and smearing a huge chunk of mud against Eva’s temple. 

“Chris, what the fuck!” the redhead squeals as Chris starts laughing like a wild animal. Eva’s lips twitch into a smirk and she grabs more dirt up from the ground. “You’ll pay for this!” 

She aims the clump of mud in her hand towards his hair but it catches Chris’ chin instead. 

“Oh, no you didn’t, girl,” Chris takes on a high-pitched voice and he sends another snowball of dirt flying her way. It hits Eva’s shoulder this time. 

“You stupid arse…” 

Eva’s howling with laughter now and pretty soon, they’re both rolling around in mud, firing petty shots at each other until they’re both covered with mud from head to toe, looking more like savages from a sci-fi film than pleasant festival-goers. “You can’t really threaten me with mud anymore,” Chris snorts when Eva pins him down eventually, holding a menacing mud-cake right in front of his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this dirty before.” 

Eva sighs. The boy has a point. And then her gaze lands on his lips. 

“Hmm,” she whispers, leaning closer, shutting off the warning bells in her head. “I don’t think that’s right.” 

Chris tilts his head up, running his eyes down her face. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Mhm.” 

She’s even closer to him now. Chris’ hand moves to push back her muddy curls and she can feel his hot breath ghosting her face. 

“How sure?” he whispers and Eva’s lips barely get to graze his before a happy yell right next to them tears them apart. 

“Chris! Eva! There you guys are!” 

Eva swears and the both of them scramble to their feet in an instant. The redhead wants the crowd to swallow her when she sees Mutta’s joyful face right next to them, smiling at his friends. Even Chris seems to look a bit sheepish although Eva doesn’t dare to look at him.

Neither of them utter a word, so Mutta furrows his brows. 

“Hey uh,” he mumbles. “Am I… interrupting something?” 

“It’s alright,” Chris manages to say whilst Eva’s looking at the ground. He gives Mutta a somewhat reassuring smile. 

“We were just…”

“No,” Eva cuts in. She’s still not looking at Chris. “Look, I can’t, we shouldn’t be doing this again…I…I have to go.” 

The redhead’s voice is trembling and her feet feel like ice but somehow, she forces herself to move. Eva mutters a quiet “sorry” to Mutta when she passes him but doesn’t look back.

“Eva, wait!”

She keeps walking even when she hears Chris call after her. 

 

 

***

 

Sana and Chris look like they desperately want to ask her what’s happened when she walks back to camp, but one look at Eva’s face and the both of them stay quiet. Instead, Sana gives her a warm blanket and leads her to the communal showers. 

The hot water soothes Eva’s bones but not her mind. 

Instead, Eva’s inner voice keeps screaming at her in various different tones and dialects. The general message remains crystal clear, though. It’s this: _why the fuck did you attempt to kiss your_ _ex,_ _…_ _fuck-buddy,_ _…_ friend _, what is wrong with you?_  

The yelling doesn’t stop even when she’s put on clean clothes and her hair’s dried.  

 

 

*** 

 

 

Eva doesn’t know what will get her mind off him, so she does the most Eva thing there is, she gets shitfaced. After her second and a half Tequila Sunrise (who even thought to serve that godawful drink at music festivals), the girl has convinced herself that she can handle Chris just fine. She’s _fine_. 

When they arrive at Zone 1 for the Pixies gig, Eva even waves at him. Makes her way over to him and whispers: 

“Apologies for over-reacting.” 

“You’re drunk,” Chris mutters, contemplating her, stare more than a little worried. 

“So?” she giggles, inching closer to him. “Don’t you just looove Drunk Eva?” 

Chris has to reach out a hand to steady her before she topples over. He secures an arm around her waist. 

“You’re a mess,” Chris murmurs but his gaze remains serious. 

“A hot mess,” she corrects him, leaning into his touch.  

Chris’ lips quirk up at that but he still remains wary.

The music starts playing but Eva can’t focus on the tunes any more than she did last night. Chris straightens up a little when Eva snuggles closer to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. The girl chooses to ignore it and reaches for his other hand, draping it around her waist.

The Pixies start up a slower song and Eva shifts her head a little. Chris’ hand is tracing patterns on her wrist and it’s making her skin tickle. Eva turns around to tell him to stop doing that when she catches Chris’ stare. His pupils are blown wide, his mouth parted a little and he’s just… looking at her. Eva’s mind draws a blank and the words die on her lips. She can’t pinpoint that look. So she just surges forward and kisses him. 

He stumbles back a bit before sliding one hand up to her hair, pulling her even closer, lips meeting hers fervently. Chris’ kisses are hungry and messy and leave her gasping for air. There’s a sort of bitterness in the way he pulls on her bottom lip. It’s almost like he’s trying to make up for all the lost time behind them, making Eva forget, making her _remember_.

It’s only when Eva’s hand trails down his front that Chris pulls back for a moment, struggling to keep his voice steady. 

“Uh…are you sure this is a good idea?” 

Eva _knows_ it’s _not_ a good idea, definitely one of her worst, actually, but she’s drunk and she doesn’t care. For just one night, Eva wants to allow herself to miss him. Wants to paint the painful memories over with new ones, better ones. 

“Yes,” she breathes and kisses him again. 

They end up in their shared tent soon after that, falling onto the mattress, all soft murmurs and wandering hands.

Chris’s hand is gripping her ass as Eva tugs off her blouse before unbuttoning his and climbing on top of him. He raises his head up a little to kiss her collarbone. Her eyes droop shut and she feels like her entire body’s on fire, like there’s quicksilver in her veins. Their lips meet again and again, and Eva’s almost forgotten that it could be like this. His lips move from her collarbone to her chest. He kisses every inch of her body, kisses the bitterness away. 

Soon, their clothes are off and scattered somewhere on the floor. 

She moans as he slides against her, their bodies entangled. Chris looks up at her as he thrusts into her and finds the girl completely lost in the moment, her eyes closed and mouth hanging open a little, her nails digging into his bare back. He feels his own heartbeat speed up. 

“Eva,” he whispers against her neck before he can help himself. “I missed you so fucking much.” 

Eva hears it but doesn’t dare to answer. Instead, she just holds onto Chris a little bit tighter, the both of them becoming undone in a matter of moments. When it’s over, she lies her head on his shoulder and settles in his embrace, still not allowing herself to think about his words. 

 

 

*** 

 

Eva wakes up to the sound of the rain the next morning, her heart hurting and her brain in overdrive. She glances up at Chris right next to her, still sleeping. He’s lying there so quietly, face peaceful and content, the tiniest hint of a smile on his face. It makes Eva’s gut twist. 

_I missed you so fucking much._

She scrambles out of bed quickly, those four words on repeat in her mind, drumming against her skin. She has to get out of here, this…it can’t happen, not again…no. Eva zips open the tent entrance and gets out, sitting down in front of their tent, burying her face in her hands. It’s only 5 am-something, so the world’s still asleep, everything’s quiet. Eva stays there, clutching at her knees, until Chris wakes up an hour later and notices her, still sitting in front of their tent, deep in thought.

 

 

*** 

 

“Aren’t you cold?” he says, sitting down next to her. 

“No,” Eva answers, moving away from him a little bit. 

A beat of silence follows. 

“Eva, what’s wrong?” Chris asks after a while, turning to look at her with that impossibly gentle look in his eyes. 

It’s too much to bear, really, and Eva suddenly feels a lump forming in her throat. 

“This never should’ve happened, Chris,” she blurts out, averting her eyes from his. “It was so… so stupid of us.” 

“Eva…” 

“No, Chris!” She’s practically screaming now. “We can’t do this again, I don’t want to be hurt again, I can’t feel like this again…you…” 

The tears fall one by one and suddenly, she feels Chris’ arms around her. A wave of sudden comfort hits her and Eva snuggles closer to him without even realising it, hiding her face on his chest, still sobbing. 

“Eva,” he whispers in her ear after a while. “I meant everything that I said last night. So, if you think that just maybe you… still feel something for me then… ” She lifts her face up a little to look at him and Chris seems a little lost for a moment. 

“…then…” 

He takes a deep breath. 

“Remember that stupid Kosegruppa Christmas party like a century ago, the one we went to together?” Eva nods and Chris runs a hand over his face. “Well, I’ve only ever really wanted you ever since that party. I just didn’t fucking know it then.” 

Eva’s lips turn up into a little mischievous grin. 

“It was quite the party,” she says and he smiles back before his expression turns sullen again. 

“I’m really fucking sorry for everything, Eva,” Chris begins once more. “I understand if you never want anything to do with me again, I do, but…I really think we’re both changed a lot in five years so…maybe we could try again?” He pauses. “It’s up to you.” 

Eva looks at Chris, uncertain, preparing herself to say no. No, she doesn’t need this. Who cares about feelings or chemistry or…or… destiny when it means she is  giving him, _anyone_ , the power to hurt her again? 

But then Eva also remembers something that Christina had said to her just yesterday. _I haven’t seen you looking this happy in months_. And Eva knows in her gut it’s true. She hasn’t been like this in a long time. And God, in the end, she just wants to be happy. 

The silence between them stretches. Eva clears her throat. Looks up at him with a hesitant smile. 

“Maybe…we can try again,” she finally says. 

 

 

*** 

 

 

In the end, it’s surprising how easily everything falls into place. If Eva had known it could be this simple, being with him, she would’ve considered dating Chris five years ago. She’s glad she didn’t, though. Even if Eva is sometimes sad about all the years they spent apart, not talking, she thinks that without them they never would’ve ended up, well…here. 

Arguing in Chris’ apartment over which tent would be better suited for Kinross-shire. 

“I am not taking the two-person tent, no way.” 

Eva’s lying on the bedroom rug and grinning up at her boyfriend. 

“Okay,” Chris laughs and leans down, planting a kiss on her shoulder. “Tell me again why we need a six person tent, baby.” 

“Because… I want no more surprises like last year,” Eva sighs happily, drawing lazy patterns on Chris’ arm. “Too much drama.” 

He smirks at Eva. 

“No more surprises, huh? Okay, I trust your judgement.”

And he tosses the smaller tent under the bed. 

That’s when Eva’s phone beeps. 

“Oh, shit!” she bleats out after reading the new text. “Vilde and Noora are stuck in Madagascar. No flights back ’til tomorrow evening. It’s so sad they’ll have to end their honeymoon like this!” 

“There you go, a surprise,” Chris chuckles and his girlfriend rolls her eyes at him. 

“Shouldn’t you continue packing?” she asks. 

Chris’ gaze grows serious in an instant, his brow furrowing. 

“Yeah…uh…I will.” He makes his way towards the closet and pulls open his sock drawer. Chris sneaks a worried glance towards Eva when she isn’t looking. The girl’s still staring at her phone, typing out a reply to Noora, probably. 

“Hey, uh…,” Chris says finally, his brows still furrowed. “Can you…uh…go and… check if my thermos is in that kitchen cupboard next to the sink?” 

Eva glances up from her phone, shaking her head. 

“Nope. Pretty sure you already packed it.” 

“Please.” 

Eva huffs but seeing Chris’ obvious despair, gets up from the floor and heads for the kitchen. 

The boy waits until she’s gone before he starts digging around in his drawers. Eventually, Chris finds the small black velvet box hidden in a pair of dark blue socks and tosses it into his holdall. 

“Where did you say the thermos was?” Eva yells from the kitchen. 

“Uh…the drawer beside the washing machine,” Chris shouts back and starts piling his clothes on top of the box to make sure Eva doesn’t notice it before well into their trip. 

“I still don’t see it!” 

Chris grins and heads over to the other room as well where he finds her, turning his kitchen cupboards upside down. 

He tiptoes towards his girlfriend, easing up behind her. 

“I just discovered the thermos in my own suitcase,” Chris whispers in Eva’s ear. 

She shoves at his chest, smiling. 

“I knew it! You’re ridiculous, you know that?” 

“Mmm,” Chris murmurs, his lips moving to Eva’s neck, “you love me, though.” 

Eva chuckles and turns around. Her eyes are sparkling even though she’s shaking her head. 

“I do,” she whispers before kissing him. 

 


End file.
